{"title":"Holiday 2017","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"the-original-kinda-world-famous-totally-trademarked-faux-paws","title":"the original \u0026 kinda world famous \u0026 totally trademarked... faux paws","description":"\u003cp\u003etoddland doctorologists do not recommend these gloves for skiiing, hiking, driving, texting, catcalling, or pretty much doing anything in. what they lack in functionality, they make up in beary (it's a word now) awesomeness. they also warn us that smothering yourself in honey and wearing these out into the woods is probably a bad idea as well (or smothering yourself in honey and going anywhere really). we think what they are trying to say is go ahead and buy these at your own risk, and figure out what to do with them. you're rad enough to be different. you're rad enough to be different. you can totally trust us, we're a giant mega corporation. -stay rad\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ethis item was tested on real fake bears. they looked great in them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eit is two gloves per pack. so one for each hand.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eput 'em on. it'll be funny. we promise.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ethe original \u0026amp; kinda world famous...\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% faux fur (that's spanish for: we got it off fake bears, ole!)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003efor ages 25 and up! (for no apparent reason!)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003emade in china\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e marked down from $7,000,000!  that's a 99.9996% discount! you can't afford not to buy!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"toddland","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":6839674947,"sku":"TLFW13NT012-FUR","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0892\/9648\/products\/pawsrework.jpg?v=1592158129"},{"product_id":"welcome-to-toddland-doormat","title":"welcome to toddland doormat","description":"\u003cp\u003eyes!, now you can own your very own welcome to toddland doormat (again)! due to requests (strangely from all guys named todd, weird), we painted up a few more of these and are willing to share them with our friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e24\" x 35\", synthetic latex backing, pile is 100% coir.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003edo not: wash, bleach, iron, dry clean, or tumble dry.  hand wash\/dry only.  \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eartwork is hand spray painted stenciled artwork.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ethese are hand made, one at a time, on days that its not windy outside of our office, and days there is a lot of stuff to do that we want to make an excuse not to do.  please give us a few days to make yours for you when you order.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e (this item USUALLY cannot ship international. Canada is sometimes ok, but other countries usually not.  Shipping costs A LOT due to the weight\/size of these)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"toddland","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":9678114307,"sku":"","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0892\/9648\/products\/TLPERPNT012-BROWN-o-s-2T.jpg?v=1445964964"},{"product_id":"gift-card","title":"Gift Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eWe know you want to get your loved ones, and mailman, (maybe they're the same person) something super rad from toddland but totally know that you'll buy the wrong size, or forgot that their cat died and buying them the cat pajamas would bum em out, or that you'll buy them the faux paws bear gloves and they'll totally lose a hand in a smelting accident between now and the time you give them to them. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe holidays are waaay too stressful.  Click here. Send us money. We'll send you an email that you can wrap up at the last second because you totally didn't know what else to get them and ran out of time.  Trust us, it's better than last second gas station or pharmacy gifts.  (we still love you dad!)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGift cards are delivered by printable email and contain instructions to redeem them at checkout. Our gift cards have no additional processing fees, no expiration date, and do not have to be used all on one order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e(If you need a denomination we don't have listed, please email us at store@toddland.mom  we're capitalists, so we will make them in any denomination you need!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"toddland","offers":[{"title":"$10.00","offer_id":12086880838,"sku":"","price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$25.00","offer_id":12086880902,"sku":"","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$50.00","offer_id":12086880966,"sku":"","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$100.00","offer_id":12086881030,"sku":"","price":100.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$200.00","offer_id":12086895238,"sku":"","price":200.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0892\/9648\/products\/gift_certificate.jpg?v=1449525289"},{"product_id":"toddland-100-pure-maple-vermont-syrup-grade-a-amber-rich","title":"Toddland 100% Pure Maple Vermont Syrup (Grade A Amber Rich)","description":"\u003cp\u003etoddland maple syrup, vermont maple syrup\/man cologne!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ebelieve it or not, we actually know what we are doing when it comes to maple syrup. we all have beards and there are multiple axes in the office (for fun, and reasons) so you can trust us that this stuff is amazing, and it makes an amazing gift. even for your yourself. cause you're worth it (*wink)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003edelicious on pancakes, waffles, french toast, american toast, mexican toast, hot and cold cereals, fruit, ice cream, sweet potato fries (not kidding), unicorns (kidding), and pretty much anything. use in baking as a sugar substitute, in baked beans, or as a glaze for ham.also can be used as cologne (not recommended) for lumberjacks or lumberjills that want to smell like a hearty breakfast all day long.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"toddland","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31498984332,"sku":"","price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0892\/9648\/products\/TLFW11NT002-brown-os-2.jpg?v=1480732860"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.toddland.mom\/collections\/holiday-2017.oembed","provider":"basekamp \/ toddland","version":"1.0","type":"link"}